


Sprung

by DRHPaints



Series: Me? Horny for a Murderer? Never. [8]
Category: Bill Hader - Fandom, Doc Now - Fandom, Documentary Now - Fandom, Documentary Now! (TV 2015), The Eye Doesn't Lie
Genre: Blow Jobs in a Car, Car Sex, Court, Criminal Couple, Cunnilingus, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Face-Fucking, Fluff, Jail, Light Angst, Sex in a Car, Smut, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:20:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29628291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DRHPaints/pseuds/DRHPaints
Summary: Robbie anxiously awaits his lover Abbi while she stands trial at the courthouse, and when she's set free without consequence, they maul each other in the Jabroni, too grateful and relieved to hold off until they get home.
Relationships: Robbie Wheadlan/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Me? Horny for a Murderer? Never. [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1957354
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	Sprung

**Author's Note:**

> Just a note that none of the stories in this series are in chronological order. Perhaps someday I will compile them all together into one massive, cohesive Robbie fic. But not today.

Heel of his boot rattlesnaking across the floor tile, Robbie sat on the bench, big hands splaying and clenching over the knees of his tight black jeans as he glanced at the doors to the courtroom for he-didn’t-know-which-time. Reflexively reaching for the pack of smokes rolled in the sleeve of his  _ Poison _ t-shirt, Robbie sighed in frustration and smoothed over his slicked back chestnut waves, wishing Abbi would’ve let him come inside. 

But, ultimately Robbie knew Abbi made the right call. Every judge in El Paso recognized the smirking face of Robbie Wheadlan, criminal not-so-extraordinaire, and his presence would only hurt her case. So Robbie waited, firm arms crossed and sharp jaw cemented, forcing a smile at every cop, public defender, and bailiff who inevitably strolled by. “Wheadlan! Hey! What’re you up for this time?”

Robbie did his best to brush them off with humor. A deep chuckle and a shrug, though if they looked closely, perhaps they would spot the quake in his mountainous shoulders. “Aw, you know. Just savin’ y’all the trouble of comin’ to look for me. Haven’t been caught yet.” With a wink of his slightly smaller left eye, a touch of tongue to his rounded teeth, Robbie nudged them away, but his worry remained, eating at his gut, bitter and acidic as his beloved Abbi stood trial.

In the event she did go to jail for the night, Robbie intended to knock over the gas station around the corner. Maybe a monumentally stupid idea, but Robbie remembered the singular instance of Abbi being locked up while he remained free all too well. 

Chain smoking as he prowled around the apartment, by four a.m. he called Tommy seven times to guarantee her bail the following day, and he finally told Robbie he would disconnect the phone if he didn’t stop pestering. By six, Robbie literally tore out a chunk of his own hair, distress unbearable as one hateful scenario after another projected in his mind’s eye concerning what might happen to his precious Abbi behind bars.

Thankfully she emerged unharmed, but Robbie much preferred when they were captivated together. Though the same couldn’t be said of the El Paso police department. The Men’s and Women’s cells existed hundreds of yards apart, though not far enough that Robbie’s blaring, anxious shout couldn’t reach, and the cops despised his hourly, clanging drawl. “HEY ABBI, YOU ALRIGHT THERE, DARLIN’?!”

Without fail, followed by Abbi demurely clearing her throat before hollering back. “YEAH ROBBIE, BABY, JUST FINE! THANK YOU!”

Once, the pig on duty became so fed up he tossed them both out by two a.m., simply for the sake of peace and quiet. Others were more practical, allowing Robbie to pass Abbi notes, though a couple of officers mistakenly perused the contents and got an eyeful of absolute filth, albeit riddled with spelling and grammatical errors, which left them unable to meet the strutting criminal’s twinkling cobalt stare ever again.

A creak of wood and Robbie hopped up with such rapidity his vision fogged and swayed as the bailiff emerged, followed by Abbi. Robbie looked to her wrists. No cuffs. Abbi’s face. A beaming smile. “You got off?”

Abbi wanted to make a joke, but Robbie’s hopeful expression, dark eyebrows knit and pink lips parted, urged her to simply nod and rush into his powerful arms. “Yup! Free!”

“I knew it! Yeah, baby!” Robbie scooped her up and twirled Abbi around with a chuckle of relief, peppering her face with scratchy kisses as he squeezed her curvaceous body almost too tight. “Aw, honey…” Setting her down delicately, Robbie tucked an ebony strand behind her ear, large hand cupping her cheek adoringly. “I’m so proud of you. I knew you could make that judge see sense. I love you so much, babygirl.”

“I love you, too, Robbie.” Threading her fingers through his silken tresses, Abbi grinned as Robbie encircled her waist and they sauntered outside. 

Though Abbi usually dressed risque, partially with Robbie in mind, tight pleather skirts and fishnet stockings designed to rile him endlessly, for the sake of the law man today she wore a subdued knee length black dress, boxy and plain. Robbie couldn’t fully fathom why, but ever since she walked out of the bathroom that morning, he wanted nothing more than to maul Abbi, and his firm arm traveled south before they hit the parking lot, grabbing a generous handful of her shapely ass as he unlocked the Jabroni and held the door open. “Get in, darlin’.” Robbie’s broad body pushed her against the car frame, looming, cologne unctuous and woodsy as a purr rumbled up from his solid chest and his tongue struck out to tickle her lips. “We gotta celebrate. Gonna take you home and make you fuckin’ scream.”

“Mmm…” With a cursory glance around, Abbi palmed the bundle of Robbie’s crotch over the unforgiving black denim and smiled. “Yes, please.”

“Oooh…” Two fingers twirled into her black hair with a challenging tug as Robbie’s eyebrows wiggled and his smirk blossomed. “Don’t get me started, babydoll.”

Folding herself into the front seat, Abbi didn’t bother hiding the flash of her panties as she peered up coyly at Robbie, lip bitten. “Oh yeah? Why not?”

Plush mouth a pout, storm clouds of lust gathered in Robbie’s deep blue eyes as they narrowed and he shook his head. “Oooh you’re askin’ for it now…” Robbie shut Abbi’s side and jogged around, leaping into the Jabroni and looping a huge hand around the back of her neck. “C’mere!” 

Kisses heated and fingers impatient, Robbie bunched her skirt to the waist, snatching Abbi’s black lace panties off with a gasp. “Damn, darlin’, I been waitin’ all fuckin’ day to mess you up.” Robbie breathed against her lips, discovering Abbi dewy and needy from the stress of the day as his large hand worked into her beckoning pussy.

“Oh fuck...Robbie,  _ yes! _ ” Abbi hurriedly unzipped his fly, cramming her fingers into the restrictive denim. 

But Robbie swatted her wrist away with a snarl, clamping over Abbi’s voluptuous hips and hauling her down the seat. “Oh!” 

Robbie scooted back, wedging his tall frame uncomfortably down on the floor and tossing her ankle over the headrest. “Gotta eat this pretty pussy right now, darlin’.” Kneading her creamy thighs, Robbie’s long tongue slurped salaciously over Abbi’s slit and he winked. “You deserve it, babydoll.”

Abbi realized half of El Paso’s law enforcement could possibly see Robbie’s head buried between her legs in that moment, but as his supple lips encased her clit, sucking ruthlessly until she shook to insanity, she couldn’t bring herself to care, shrieking and slapping a palm against the window of the Jabroni. “ _ Oh Robbie! Fuck! Yes! Right there! Keep going!” _

Robbie may not have been a learned man, or a man able to maintain a 9-5, or hell, even the safest of men to get involved with, the majority of Abbi’s friends casting a side eye at her choice of companion and chiding whenever she needed to hock yet another piece of jewelry to bail Robbie out. But this, in this Robbie excelled, a king among peasants as his lengthy fingers crooked dexterously into Abbi’s drenching pussy while his tongue expertly flicked, riding the tidal wave of her pelvis and humming into her tender flesh. “ _ Robbie! Robbie! I’m cumming! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” _

Square chin slathered and chafing her thighs on his rough cheeks, Robbie refused to relent, cobalt eyes volcanic with need as a huge hand anchored her hip to the seat with a snarl before he redoubled his efforts. Robbie devoured Abbi as if he were a wild beast starved for the purpose of ferality, meant to grow lean and mean, attacking at the first sign of her delectable scent on the air and irresistibly feasting to his fill.

“ _ Fuck! Robbie! Yes! Fuck! FUCK!”  _ Windows fogged and throat raw, Abbi ground shamelessly into his sturdy jaw, knuckles white in Robbie’s chestnut locks as he lasciviously lapped her to convulsing euphoria. “ _ Robbie!” _

Pleasure whooshed over her electrified flesh from her pulsing pussy to every fiber of her fatigued being as Robbie emerged, face shining and smirk boundless before he lifted the collar of his  _ Poison _ t-shirt to wipe his chin, relishing in how he could carry the perfume of Abbi on his garment. “Mmm…” Folding forward, Robbie gently took her panting face, lacing their lips together. “I fuckin’ love makin’ you cum, darlin.”

“You’re so damn good to me, Robbie.” Abbi swallowed, smiling wearily as she polished his prominent cheekbone. “I love--”

Both turned as alarmingly close laughter rang out to the left of the Jabroni. “Oh shit…” Robbie muttered, shielding the exposed Abbi with his wide back.

“Yeah, let’s…” Lowering her skirt, Abbi cleared her throat. “Maybe we should just go home now…”

“Good idea, baby.” As Abbi retracted her leg from between the seats, Robbie flipped the ignition and revved the engine before peeling out, unrepentantly decimating the speed limit as they barreled back to the apartment.

Not bothering with her seatbelt, as soon as they rounded the corner from the courthouse, Abbi slid across to Robbie, fingers tip toeing over his thick thigh. “Aw, well…” One big hand on the steering wheel, Robbie unabashedly yanked down Abbi’s high collar, greedily exposing her bra to roughly grope her breasts with a chuckle. “You tryin’ to start somethin’ there, Abbi?”

“Mmm...no.” Abbi shuffled Robbie’s painted on jeans down enough to free his thick cock, offering a couple of admiring pumps. “Trying to finish.”

“Mmm...hell yeah, babydoll.” Twisting a huge fist in her hair, Robbie spoke through gritted teeth as he guided Abbi down into his lap. “Fuckin’ suck me. I know you love my cock, Abbi.”

The totality of his length plunged into her throat without warning as he did so many times before, narrow hips rocking and wide palm pressing. “ _ Yeah Abbi, baby, fuck! Suck me! Hell yeah!”  _ Robbie nodded feverishly, licking his lips as his built chest began to heave. “ _ Hot damn, babygirl, I love when you suck my cock. You’re so fuckin’ good! Yeah! Fuck!” _ Boot heel drilling into the floor, Robbie’s left eye flickered with a groan as the wide head of his cock tamped the back of Abbi’s throat, wet smacking sounds drowning out his  _ Poison _ tape. “ _ And you look so fuckin’ pretty with my cock in your mouth! Mmm...fuck yeah, baby! Fuck! Suck me! Fuck, Abbi! Fuck! Keep goin’, darlin’! Fuck! Fuck!”  _

A second too late to burn through a stop light, Robbie shifted into park, ten points of pressure surrounding Abbi’s skull as he recklessly humped her hoovering lips. “ _ Oh baby! Baby, yeah! Fuck! Suck me! So good! Fuck, Abbi! Uh huh! Yeah! Gonna make me cum in that tight throat! Fuck, baby! Keep goin’!”  _ Pelvis vacating the seat and broad back braced, the sea of Robbie’s eyes surged white in high tide as his crisp jaw dropped. Neck arched and cramming his massive cock root-deep into Abbi’s eager face, Robbie descended into huffing grunts. “ _ Oh Abbi! Abbi! Baby! Yeah! Baby! Fuck! Abbi! Abbi! Abbi!” _

The honk of a car behind startled them both so badly that Abbi, despite her experience, gagged and coughed, Robbie accidentally blasting the horn and pulling her onyx tresses a tad too rough. “Fuckin’  _ DAMNIT!”  _ Robbie roared as Abbi popped up, smearing a wrist over her mouth as he stuck a middle finger out the window before cranking the gear shift and accelerating. “Can’t let a man get his dick sucked. Sons a fuckin’ bitches. I swear… Fuckin’ bastards…”

Abbi giggled at Robbie’s fuming. In truth, nothing turned her on more than his mask of wrath. Nostrils expanding in dragonish rage. Dark brow down and azure eyes a dead glint. Pink lip peaked to display a rounded fang. One brief glance, though never directed at her, and Abbi slicked faster than Texas oil.

“Alright, lemme finish…” Abbi started to duck under his arm, but Robbie touched her shoulder and shook his head.

“Nah, fuck it. Hang on.” Wrenching the wheel to the side, Robbie screeched off the road and parked before jamming his seat back as far as possible. “Climb on, baby. I wanna cum in that pussy.”

Chuckling, Abbi hastily hiked up her skirt, straddling Robbie’s svelte hips. “Oh hell yeah.” Abbi reached between her legs, opening her drenched lips before sinking down onto Robbie’s thick cock with a mutual moan.

“Oh fuck...babydoll, you feel so damn good.” Nodding urgently, Robbie wasted no time, pounding into Abbi as she bounced with abandon until the Jabroni rocked. “ _ Fuck! Fuck yeah, Abbi! Ride me, baby! Yeah! Fuck!” _

Clinging to his vast shoulders, Abbi’s head hit the ceiling again and again as Robbie slammed into her soaked pussy, but she didn’t give a damn as his large thumb raced over her engorged clit and she screeched. “ _ Oh Robbie! Yes! Fuck me! Harder! Yes! Just like that! I love your big cock! Fuck! Yes! Robbie! Don’t stop!” _

Sensing Abbi cinching around his propelling cock, Robbie flicked his hips in the upstroke and hastened his pace. “ _ Oh baby, yeah! Fuck! Cum on my cock, Abbi! Fuck! I love makin’ you cum! Scream for me, baby! Cum for me, Abbi! Cum, baby! Cum, darlin’! Now! Cum! Cum! CUM!” _

“ _ Robbie!”  _ Exploding into a puddle of seizing limbs above, Abbi’s knees wove in and out as her nails scraped over the back of Robbie’s pallid neck and he growled in approval. 

Powerful arms coiled around Abbi, hugging her close as Robbie’s pelvis pummeled with incredible velocity, his deep drawl veering into belabored whimpers. “ _ Oh baby! Oh Abbi! I’m gonna cum! Gonna cum in your tight pussy! Oh fuck, baby! Yeah! Fuck! Baby! Yeah! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Abbi!”  _

Tucking his high forehead down between her breasts, Robbie trembled in wiretight silence. A stammered, “ _ Fuuuck!”  _ breached his rounded teeth as his left eye twitched and Robbie sprang back, hips airborne and rolling as he throbbed hot cum into Abbi’s welcoming depths.

Robbie settled back with a shiver, cheeks puffing as Abbi continued to flutter around his sensitive cock, giggling as she played with his askew brunette tendrils. 

“Mmm...damn baby…” Patting her ass appreciatively, a crooked, goofy grin floated to Robbie’s fatigued features. “I sure am glad I didn’t have to go one night without makin’ love to you. That’s the worst punishment there is.”

Abbi dipped down, fusing their lips together and parting with a smile as she caressed Robbie’s sharp jaw. “Me too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read! If you enjoyed this story, please leave a comment or come say hi on tumblr at fandomtransmandom. I also accept requests!


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